MY BAD HABIT..!

"Do you smoke?" A co-worker once asked me.
"No", I said curtly.
He asked again, "do you drink?" "No", I retorted.
Frustrated, he barked " what is your bad habit?"
I smiled demurely, knowing full well that, I have a few of them that are not known to the general public, especially the nosy neighbors. But, there is one in particular that I enjoy indulging in, every morning, specifically when I am having my first early morning pee: Farting so loudly!!!!

God! How I enjoy that early morning session. So habitual it is, that it has become a rite of passage that marks a new day. Only the living can fart, has always been the prepared answer I have for the prim and proper who get offended by my lack of etiquette. Quite apart from the fact that, it's my own way of saying "God I thank you for the gift of life", it's also to me an expression of freedom. Yes, it's a coarse sound of joy that proclaims to the world that I am neither bound nor shackled by the prudes' lists of do's and dont's; a note of warning (for me) that I should never be intimidated nor be immobilized by the society's fussy demands and rigid expectations; a refreshing relief that I no longer exist within the tight radius of bondage dictated by those who have appointed themselves as my judge and jury.

Yeah, still talking about the nexus between farting and living, I remember when I was operated upon few years ago. One of the signs that the operation was successful, as I was made to understand, was if I farted. Yes, farting! Something we often take for granted :) . You need to see the way I was seriously keen on farting, on hearing this uncustomary pronouncement . The doctor even asked me to take some sweets to induce it.

Long story cut short, I eventually farted. It wasn't loud, but I was grateful to God, it came! I was grateful for the gift of life. So, next time you fart pa pa papapapa pa pa pa...  give praises to God, for there is somebody somewhere who is frantically and breathlessly asking God for that awesome privilege. Only the living can fart, don't ever forget that !!!!!! :)

Have a farting, sorry, a fabulous weekend!
Adedayo Fatoki.

DISCLAIMER:  The author of this piece is not in support of or advocate for indiscriminate and irresponsible act of farting in the public :-)      
Only a village idiot or a city ninny would take such license as an opportunity to be contemptuously environmental unfriendly!!! :-)

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CONTINUE TO REST IN PEACE, MY DAD..

If only I could arrest the march of Time, I'd like to dance with you again.... yea, dance to your favorite Orlando Owoh music.

If only I could keep Time on a tight leash,
I'd like to hear you put in a thousand proverbs to clinch a point,
And preface your lengthy talk with interesting and digestible mental meal of word pictures, stories and anecdotes.

You made your mistake...but you made your mark too! 

You knew the best way to cope with a setback and escape the funk of dejection. You combined uncommon tenacity with an unwavering belief...you understood that the road to success is constantly under construction.

You didn't put much credence in common hearsay and you didn't take everything you heard as a gospel. However, I thank GOD that you heed the GOSPEL and reconciled with your maker, months, before you breathed your last.I folded my arms, I crossed my fingers; I padded my anxious cheekbones with palms, awaiting another call that would say "IT'S A LIE...NA JOKE!". But none came! I'm only comforted and take solace in the fact that you are now resting in the bosom of your LORD and your Maker. Goodnight Baba Dayo till we meet again... sing and dance together with the Angels, to celestial TUNES that would never, never end.

REST IN PEACE, A.O FATOKI.

(My Dad exited the world on 11th of January, 2013)

Sorry OoOh, Prof!!!

Awhh! Professor “Things Fall Apart”!! Sorry OoOh!
You should have known that anything, that has to do with the Nigerian civil war is a hot potato anytime!!

A big Cheese, like you, should have known that the civil war is still a touchy and slippery issue in our daily national discourse, even 40 years after the war had ended with no victors; no vanquished declaration.

But, seriously Prof, are you in the least bit surprised that the upper crust of the Yoruba race came after you like a swarm of Bees, after delivering that alleged stinger (in your latest publicized querulous book) on the person of Chief Obafemi Awolowo, the rallying figure of their quintessential race? Are you any surprised that those invectives have been coming your way, in a rapid stream, for what the Yorubas perceived as negative characterization and contemptuous denigration of the sacredness of the late sage’s name?

Well, Prof, what do you expect? You don’t expect a spectacle of chants, songs and frenzied joy with wide-eyed smiling faces after casting a slur on the name and character of Awo, one of the greatest sons of Oduduwa; the man who singlehandedly liberated his people from the oppressive opiate of ignorance through the introduction of free education (first in West Africa); the man whom, even, your warlord reverently referred to as the best President Nigeria never had.

Of course you should expect a babble of protest gilded with colourful insults from the mellowest and most passive average Yoruba men on the street to the most vocal and voluble intelligentsia among them. Blaming their leader for the “genocide” against your people is a ghastly cardinal error!!

Well, given your old age and fragile frame, Prof “Things Fall Apart”, I just hope you have the Cardiovascular wellness and the Musculoskeletal fitness to withstand more barrage of salvoes and diatribes that would be coming from the swelling ranks of Awo’s biological, adopted and political sons and daughters, home and abroad!! Hmm….sorry Oooh, Prof.

Adedayo Fatoki.

Racial Bullies in Foreign Land !

These guys are just out-and-out racial bullies !!! They seek to control every neuron in other people's heads and then have them as their eternal lackeys!!! 

Funny enough, they are always quick in telling the whole world that America is the real terrorists! Thank GOD we know better. Thank GOD, they don't have half or one-quarter of America's prosperity. Otherwise, they would have chained the rest

of the entire human race to the slave blocks and gladly ration out the amout of oxygen to be taken per day!!!!

I just pity their wives, who daily bear the brunt of their oppressive patriachal culture.
Vile men! They hide behind religion and shack of ignorance (of their people) to gag and oppress them.

They want to replicate what they do in their infamous country here. No way!!!!!!!!!! We will paralyze their spells and resist them and force them back to their trenches. We will resist them and force them to the backwater of civilizations, where they belong!!!

Thank GOD for liberty, which is worth fighting for....Amen!!!

ADEDAYO.
(written sometimes in the late 2012 )

On the Nigerian Girl Child

With all the VVF and Almajiri issues so prevalent in the North, one would have expected these "undistinguished" Senators (largely from that part of the country) to use their noodles and be preoccupied with how to fight the scourge. But No! They were busy paying obscene attention to the girl child...and obsessed with the thought of how they would bed her right from the cradle using the instrumentality of a religion, to hoodwink and arm-twist the rest of us !!!
...And those putrid utterances from Yerima? Gosh! I think some people have gotten out of the realm of balance and onto some lunatic fringe!! Like seriously! 

EFFUSIONS: ON IGBO "DEPORTATION".

EFFUSIONS: ON IGBO "DEPORTATION".: Please permit me to add my own humble two cents to the ongoing debate. First and foremost some of us think t he act of "deportation&...

ON IGBO "DEPORTATION".

Please permit me to add my own humble two cents to the ongoing debate. First and foremost some of us think the act of "deportation" of fellow citizens (regardless of their state of origins) within Nigerian stateis unconstitutional and it is a war against the poor and the have-nots. 


Having said that I think we also have to sympathize with Lagos state government, because at a time Lagos was fast becoming a dumping ground for all sorts of human wastes and social misfits (excuse my characterization, please!) from all other states in the country, owing largely to the inability of other member states to take adequate care of their people. The truth is, Urban planning and development requires a lot of tough measure and difficult decisions, and as such, the poor are always the first to go. Besides, Lagos has always sounded the warning for all to hear that she can no longer serves as human refuse dump (excuse my language!) for all other federating units. The governor through his body language has been telling everybody that he's driven by the vision of transforming Lagos to mega-cities like Singapore, Dubai etc. 

Many of us travel abroad, we like what we see there. We compare and contrast, and in the process (at times) rain some curses on our leaders back home for not doing the needful. But we fail to realize that to make an omelette, you have got to break some eggs. For development to happen, a lot of sacrifices will have to be made.

Now coming to the issue of "Igbo deportation". In my humble opinion (and I am not afraid to be labelled as being bias) some people, especially political opportunists, are blowing the unfortunate incidents out of proportion just to gain some cheap political mileage. First, the numbers of the "deported" destitute was inflated and the Anambra governor never told the world that there has been correspondence between its government and Lagos state government concerning the issue at hand. To me, that smacks of insincerity and dishonesty. Whipping up tribal sentiments and portraying the Igbos as the objects of victimization, when in actual fact the same exercise is being carried out by other states (and even Anambra state) in the country on a regular basis, is nothing but teary emotionalism!

And, seriously, what gall me most is what Orji Uzor Kalu said and what his ilks have been saying ever since the "deportation" issue has been sensationalized. And, I shouldn't be surprised though, because Kalu has been desperately searching for political relevance and recognition ever since he left office few years ago. The "deportation" issue has become an avenue for him to climb back to recognition. The question that should be asked Kalu and other Igbo social crusaders are: Where were they when the same Anambra State in Dec 2011 arrested and "deported" some 29 beggars to Eboinyi and Akwa Ibom states. Where were they when Abia State in 2011 sacked 3,000 workers on the pretext that they were non-indigene.

Again, I remember, there was no flaring of nostrils, no dilation of eyes, and no delirious talk when Lagos state government sent some indigenes of Oyo, Osun, Kwara and some northern states, packing. With due respect to some of my good Igbo friends (who are far-sighted and less emotional), I really don't understand why the Igbos view everything through ethnic prisms. I don't know why they always give everything that concerns their nation some tribal colourations. There have been a lot of insults here and there since the issue broke out. Some of them are even saying Lagos is a "no man's land" and that "apart from the income from the federal allocation, the second largest source of revenue for Lagos State comes from investments by Igbo". Well, it is really not my pay grade
to defend Lagos in that aspect, as eminent Yoruba Scholars who are expert enough on that matter are already doing so. And, the historical cold facts remain in the public domain for those who have value for history and research.

Lastly, for those who will continue to hurl insults at some of us on social media, the same advice I gave one of your brothers should suffice:
"Spreading hates and insulting people from other race, using uncouth verbiage and gutter language is not only uncharitable but also a descent into the cesspool of infamy.

Since you're a man of considerable intellect with bravura and strong moral fiber, why don't you channel your latent energy and aggression towards fighting against the barbarous butchery of Igbo race in the Northern Nigeria. For starters, you can establish an NGO to fight such a mindless brutality and those brutal bullies.

I think such barbarous cruelty, up there, deserves more attention than flaring nostrils and throwing needless punches at your gracious Landlords here.

By the way, I dont think this page is all about hates or ethnic jingoism. If it is, then I'm taking my leave"

THANK YOU.

ADEDAYO GABRIEL FATOKI