PRESIDENTIAL GAFFE

Sometimes in 1987 or thereabout, a middle-aged lady, who happened to be our neighbor, came to our Flat, with her daughter (or granddaughter) in tow. Her daughter (or granddaughter) should be around 3 year-old at the time. They came in the evening – the time they knew my Dad would have been back from work.

Hmmm. Ask me what were their mission?? The woman came to report me to my Dad that, her daughter said I cut her hair !! *smh

My dad, of blessed memory, didn’t allow me to even say anything. Like a fiery Human Right attorney, he sprang into action and defended me as if I have briefed him about what happened, prior to mother and daughter visit. There was hot exchange of words. Trust my dad; he was up to the task. He matched the woman toe to toe and went eyeball to eyeball with her. The woman (and her daughter) left with their heads bowed, talking figuratively!

But, you know what?? Till my old man departed this world, in 2013, he never asked me if the allegation was true or not. *smiles*

Of course, I didn’t do what the woman accused me of. I have always been a good boy. *Smiles*

My Interpretation:
What my father did is called LEADERSHIP !! He did that, because I have GOOD REPUTATION!!

Now, let’s come down to President Buhari’s Telegraph interview.

I have read the interview, especially the part that touched on Nigerians collective integrity.
Did Baba call Nigerians criminals? Not exactly. But he implied it!
Was Baba referring to all Nigerians ?? No.
Was Baba saying the truth about “SOME” of those unscrupulous Nigerians? Emphatic YES !!!!!
Was that the right place to say all those “truths” : Emphatic NO !!!!!

This is my opinion:
At the international scenes, nobody is interested in you spewing “the truths” about your native country. Your spewing “the truths” would not earn you or your country more respect. In fact, it is a grotesque exercise in self ridicule.

The only thing that works at such places is TACT & DIPLOMACY! It is patently absurd for the Chief Image Maker of a country to go to foreign nations and be spewing some negatives, in the name of the truths, about his country. Whatever the stereotype and the narrative the foreign media and their imperious owners have about such country gain traction when it is being reinforced by the country’s C.E.O. It is what you call your dog that neighbours and passersby would call it. Yoruba people say: You, first of all, chase the fox away, before you come back to rebuke the hen. Nobody tell home-truth in a foreign land. You come home, to tell the home-truth !

Afghanistan, Pakistan, Turkey, Netherlands, India are among the top Ten heroin trafficking countries in the world, but you don’t see their Presidents and Prime Ministers hopping from one foreign nation to another telling some stories of how useless, senseless and indiscipline, their nationals are. (*Apology to Fela Kuti aka Abami Eda). Of course, that would reduce their international engagements to farcical display of intellectual emptiness.

Well, we know President Buhari doesn’t possess the eloquence of diction or the poetry of imagination of the likes of Obama or Uhuru Kenyatta of this world. We don’t even give a flying toss about that!! But then, he should (with due respect) try and read up books and learn few things about Tact and Diplomacy. Or better still; let him go for a crash course (within Aso Rock) on International Law and Diplomacy. Let him do this for the sake of millions of Nigerians eking out honest living in foreign land and who are on the receiving end of his many “diplomatic” gaffes.

Adedayo FATOKI

#Pray4Nigeria

I once ccused GEJ of being so deaf to the sullen silence, sulky resentment and deafening tuneless funeral dirges all over the places (especially North-East, Nigeria), as a result of Boko Haram’s mindless butcheries. I once accused him of being so blind to the bland looks and eyes shaded by dark sunglasses. I called him names for doing striptease at the grave-site of the mowed innocent Nigerians. I even asked (rhetorically) if he was too thick and too daft, to comprehend the melancholia and sweaty frustration that have enveloped the land while he was celebrating Nigeria’s centenary existence? In short, I criticized his mediocre leadership and his spectator stance to Nigeria’s multitudinous issues, especially the BH challenge. 

But, what I am seeing in this present administration is even worse. It beggars belief. I can’t believe that a band of President Buhari’s fawning sycophants and internet trolls could stand on crooked crutches of rehearsed falsehood and take “PR” to a ridiculous extreme and to the height of impiety, at this time of our shared grief !! Denying that there was carnage in the North-Eastern part of Nigeria, so as to make your idealized symbol of change look good in the eyes of the world and to reinforce the sham that BH has been “technically” defeated is the worst evil that could ever happen to mankind. Such barefaced lies desecrate the sanctity of life and offend all humans with the most sense of decency. 

Can someone remind these sweat-drenched, battle-obsessed, so called “change agents” that, we are no more in campaign mood and, that they should stop elevating make-believe over reality and, that they should stop asserting the primacy of propaganda (and primitive crudeness)over facts and better judgment ?? Haa!!

Well, to the bereaved, we share your grief in this time of bereavement with deepest sympathy, even as we pray for the swiftest recovery of the injured.

May God be with our gallant soldiers who are not flinching from putting their lives in danger, daily, because of us and we pray for the quiet repose of the souls of the martyrs. 

And, may Baba Buhari find courage to utterly (and not technically) wipe out these enemies of our nation at record time. Amen.

Long live Nigeria.

#PrayforNigeria

adedayo g. fatoki

Dear Buharist !!!

 Dear Buharist,

Oh sorry o! I never knew you’ve become a self-appointed, squint-eyed Facebook monitor, looking for inappropriate posts that are not in favour of your idealized “sai baba” !

I never knew I must consult you first, bow and scrape and, seek your permission about what to post on my wall, so that I won’t ruffle your vainglorious feathers and offend your earthy, touchy pride!!

I never knew that telling your “sai baba” to sit up (and stop giving excuses) – before the already comatose economy finally goes into a tailspin; before a dollar exchange for 300 Naira; before we begin to have the Zimbabwe experience – is an heightened derogatory remark punishable under decree 4 of 1984!!!

Phew! Decree 4 !!!! I never knew decree 4 of 1984 has been exhumed and now in effect. Where was I ?? Pardon my manners. Pardon my ‘unrestrained disobedience’, Buharist. E fori jimi o !!! Please, don’t tell Baba Buhari Ooo !!! Please don’t tell him that, there are still some of us who desire to live outside the tight radius of bondage dictated by some of you who have appointed yourselves our judge and Jury. Please, don’t tell him that, there are still few of us who detest living like frightened deer in a restrictive thicket of negative regulations.

Finally, please don’t tell baba that, there are few of us who won’t submit to the do’s and don’ts of a maximum ruler nor pander to his insular opinions nor nod agreement to some vacuous “articulation” on the state of the economy.

Please sir…. I promise to give out 3 litres of PMS in return for this favour, Sir!!!!!

Adedayo

Smart Guy !

I gbadun this Desmond Elliot guy. To break into Nollywood, he downplayed his 'Yorubaness', not letting the Idumota movie bureaucrats know he has any affinity with the Yorubas. However, when the fine boy, no pimples, threw his hat into the ring and declared his intention to contest for Surulere 1 House of Rep, suddenly he's Desmond OLUSHOLA Elliot. Like seriously!
Well, that's politics. To play it well, you've got to learn how to use subtle strategy and outright treachery instead of coercion. You've got to learn how to seduce on a mass level and curry favours of known and established power brokers. The clumsy and the tactless have no place in politics, just the same way the wimpish cannot be enlisted in a nation's military. In short, to get a head-start and gain a foothold (in Politics), just be formless ! Yes... as formless as water !! By the way, that is the 48th law in the famous 48 Laws of Power: ASSUME FORMLESSNESS.
".....A military force has no constant formation water has no constant shape: The ability to gain victory by changing and adapting according to the opponent is called genius" ( Sun-tzu, fourth century B.C)
Oh, before i forget sef. Congratulations, Mr OLUSHOLA ELLIOT, on your victory at the primaries. Eko o ni baje !


Adedayo

BOKO HARAM

The truth of the matter is, all of them politicized BH. When I say all of them I mean the PDP, the ACN/APC, northern politicians and the northern elites

The north (elites) was lukewarm about the butchery and the barbarous killings at their own backyard because they thought they could use it as a tool to get more federal allocations. They argued that the youth restiveness was as a result of lopsidedness or imbalance in the share of the federal cake. They hinged their arguments on the fact that there was poverty in the north, while there were wanton waste in the south especially south-south.

The Northern politicians on the other hand were not concerned about the equitable distribution of developmental projects. They didnt care a "cow" about equitable dispensation of available scarce resources. They just wanted POWER. POWER !!! They thought they were overdue to have the power. Of course, they have been out of the power loop for a long tortuous time. Many of them were silent about the killings...and many were closet allies and financiers of the deadly sect. They wanted the power, at all cost and BH came handy. The former president (GEJ) even alluded to the fact that BH has infiltrated his government. It didn't matter to them how many of their "leaders of tomorrow" were killed. Let there be more killings to discredit the government of the day, they seemed to be saying.

For the PDP/GEJ, I want to believe that, somebody or a group of politicians who were turbocharged by insatiable greed prevailed on him (GEJ) to go soft on BH. They must have told him that "ol boy, if you want your second term to sail through, you had better go soft on boko haram o. If you want the North to vote for you, dont be too harsh on boko haram ooOO". He must have heeded their ill-advise because he diddnt do nothing (initially) against these murderous vermin when they were just ragtag directionless army. At a time, he (GEJ) was even calling them "brothers" !!!

Coming to APC. Of course...the APC needs all the propaganda that there is insecurity in the land yada...yada...yada.. to curry favour from people and boost their electoral fortunes at the poll. And, all the empty rhetoric, gaseous oratory and the highfalutin shibboleths really worked. GEJ was dressed up as a dull-witted and clueless president who could not manage a nation as complex as Nigeria and provide adequate security for her masses. All measures taken by the ruling party to stem insecurity were either criticized or frustrated. For instance: when GEJ declared state of emergency in some states in the north, they criticized it. When GEJ finally grew some balls to proscribe Boko Haram, there were barrage of acid comments and acrid criticism... when he began to go after BH, they said he's killing their children. Guess what, it all worked...and we are here !!!!!

(THIS IS IN RESPONSE TO A COMMENT ON MY FB WALL)

BAND OF HYPOCRITES : MY FACEBOOK RANT

Nigerians would never cease to amaze me. We like to quibble over pennies and split hairs over downright infantile things. There are just too many self-appointed facebook monitors here. So what is the big deal if I changed my dp and replaced it with French national colour?? So I have colonial mentality plus inferiority complex because I choose to identify with victims of terrorism, bah?? Mscheew.
I really don't have time to niggle over puerile shit this evening. Well, an assignment for you, Self-appointed Facebook Chief-monitor: Go through my wall and see my writings and posts about Boko Haram and their mindless and barbarous killings. That should keep you busy for the whole night (Cos i have a lot of them). When you are done with that, you can now come back and tell me who is a hypocrite or a nationalist between you and I.
Meanwhile, see below what the French did when you guys were in your darkest moments. ‪#‎BandOfHypocrites‬

Warning : If you must comment plz mind your language oooh! I'm taking no prisoners in my comment threads oooh. I will axe any mentally subnormal commenter, cold-bloodedly oooh! I don't care who you bloody are. Just take your pot-shot to your wall and enjoy your delusion of grandeur there.
‪#‎Nonsense‬                                                                

NO Bra Day Brouhaha

On a day (Oct 13) set aside to sensitize women on the danger of breast cancer and how to prevent it. I sent a cheeky inbox message to some ladies on my FB list. : “Today is Oct 13. Happy "No Bra" day !! Hope you would set your "twins" free today. Today..! Just today !!! Winks winks** “ A lady, who, probably just saw the message, today, 17-10-2015, replied : “Are u OK at all “ Irritated at her lack of tact, and understanding of times and poor sense of humour, I gave her a piece of my mind : “Haaaa! Common, take it easy nau. Whatever happened to your sense of humour? Whatever happened to your cheekiness? Life (itself) is too serious to be too serious with it oOo!! To be stiff, uptight, inflexible and wearing straitjackets are never the way to deal with life, my dear. Taking life easy and making jokes and satires out if it are the easiest way to deal with life and its paralysing spells. Have a great weekend, Madam. “

Hahahahaha. Happy No Bra Day to all women.

Adedayo Gabriel Fatoki