MY BAD HABIT..!

"Do you smoke?" A co-worker once asked me.
"No", I said curtly.
He asked again, "do you drink?" "No", I retorted.
Frustrated, he barked " what is your bad habit?"
I smiled demurely, knowing full well that, I have a few of them that are not known to the general public, especially the nosy neighbors. But, there is one in particular that I enjoy indulging in, every morning, specifically when I am having my first early morning pee: Farting so loudly!!!!

God! How I enjoy that early morning session. So habitual it is, that it has become a rite of passage that marks a new day. Only the living can fart, has always been the prepared answer I have for the prim and proper who get offended by my lack of etiquette. Quite apart from the fact that, it's my own way of saying "God I thank you for the gift of life", it's also to me an expression of freedom. Yes, it's a coarse sound of joy that proclaims to the world that I am neither bound nor shackled by the prudes' lists of do's and dont's; a note of warning (for me) that I should never be intimidated nor be immobilized by the society's fussy demands and rigid expectations; a refreshing relief that I no longer exist within the tight radius of bondage dictated by those who have appointed themselves as my judge and jury.

Yeah, still talking about the nexus between farting and living, I remember when I was operated upon few years ago. One of the signs that the operation was successful, as I was made to understand, was if I farted. Yes, farting! Something we often take for granted :) . You need to see the way I was seriously keen on farting, on hearing this uncustomary pronouncement . The doctor even asked me to take some sweets to induce it.

Long story cut short, I eventually farted. It wasn't loud, but I was grateful to God, it came! I was grateful for the gift of life. So, next time you fart pa pa papapapa pa pa pa...  give praises to God, for there is somebody somewhere who is frantically and breathlessly asking God for that awesome privilege. Only the living can fart, don't ever forget that !!!!!! :)

Have a farting, sorry, a fabulous weekend!
Adedayo Fatoki.

DISCLAIMER:  The author of this piece is not in support of or advocate for indiscriminate and irresponsible act of farting in the public :-)      
Only a village idiot or a city ninny would take such license as an opportunity to be contemptuously environmental unfriendly!!! :-)

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